Film Review: Mała Moskwa

I was quite eager to view Mala Moskwa (Little Moscow), albeit I had no knowledge about the plot, characters, or anyone involved in the production of the film (I was sold by the poster.) I gathered that it was some sort of drama having something to do with Russia in some way.

So, I returned to the Kino Luna (I bypassed the concessions, being a little late into the theater.)

Mala Moskwa is a story told between two time frames, one set in the present day and the other set in 1967-68. It doesn't take place in Moscow (but is mostly in Russian), but rather in Legnica, a city on the western border of Poland. The main actress, Svetlana Khodchenkova, hammily plays the main character, named Vera, in the 1960's timeframe, and Vera's daughter, Vera, in the modern timeframe.

The seemingly happy couple of Khodchenkova and her pilot husband, Juri (Dmitri Ulyanov), arrive in to a Soviet military base in Western Poland after her husband has been dropped from being a cosmonaut. They share their living space with a Catholic Armenian couple expecting a baby.

The strikingly beautiful Khodchenkova catches the eye of a dashing Polish military officer, Michal "Misha" Janicki (Leslaw Zurek), who also happens to be somewhat of an musician, when she sings a Polish song (in Polish) at a music competition, winning the first prize. From then on Zurek and Khodchenkova start a torrid and forbidden love affair that ends with her suicide.

The sub-plot consists of Juri and his now-grown daughter (played by Khodchenkova again. All they did was lazily update her fashion; she even keeps her beauty mark next to her mouth) returning to Legnica, searching for some answers as Juri tells his daughter about her mother, whom she hates.

About ten minutes into the film I began to realize that the whoever made the movie (writer, director) was less concerned with telling the story than making a fiercely nationalistic movie, where the virtues of Poland: it's culture and it's people, were extolled in contrast to the brutish Russians. The younger Vera is introduced slandering the Poles and Poland while admonishing her father for defending them and taunting him constantly about her mother's affair. All the Russian officers are portrayed in an unsympathetic light, pouring on vitriol about Poland; all things Polish display their obvious primacy, even in the face of the assault by the Soviets.

The premise slips slowly away from a tragic tale of forbidden love to one where none of the characters are remotely sympathetic, likable, or even tragic. Zurek's character is about as suave as Larry The Cable Guy; it's a wonder he could woo a beauty such as Khodchenkova when in reality he wouldn't be able to seduce a fat chick who hasn't been laid in twenty years. His courtship of her consists of pathetic pick up lines and sexual advances, which she weakly resists. Their romance is hardly a secret, as everyone (including her husband) on and off the military base knows about it. Her husband barely even objects, but simply glumly looks on as his wife gets stolen away. In fact, most of the people involved in the love story end up looking repugnant and Vera's death is a bit of some twisted justice.

Juri's commanders begin to take notice and object, and the whole thing finally comes to a head, but not before the overwhelming goodness of the Poles (plus a polonized German) and the beauty of Poland is shown in contrast to the wicked Russians and their awful air base. There are some small sub-plots about the illegal baptism of the Armenians' baby, the backdrop of the invasion of Czechoslovakia, and, of course, the daughter's constant harping on her hapless father. Between the Polish proverbs and the overwrought insults, there's a film with a lot of growing up to do. Sadly, it's the characters that doom this picture.

The whole shitty movie fucks the viewer one last time in the last scene (spoiler: it takes place at Vera's grave) in the final confrontation between the weak Russian and the righteous Pole.

Lato Filmów and Movie Theaters in General

I've just returned from a trip to the Luna theater for a show. The Lato Filmów (Summer of Movies) film festival has just drawn to a close. I've been kicking myself because I only got to see one movie, since they've actually had quite a selection and the tickets are a scant 5zl.

The Kino Luna is actually rather quaint. It's like The Criterion in its old-timey feel (for those who are not familiar with The Criterion, it's an Art Deco theater.) The concession stand is small and sells only a select number of treats and goodies. I slapped down 8zl for '7up' and a water. The '7up' was merely .7 liters of carbonated water sans syrup, but I didn't make a scene and make the poor fellow take it back. I heard the place had financial problems anyway.

The theater inside slopes softly down (no stadium seating here) and then turns into a shallow bowl. It appears that the front seats are slightly higher than those in the middle, which is rather nonsensical. The seats are that old quality (I can't really explain) with a satin material as their covering. Also, no drink holders.

I guess most movie theaters here are just like they are in the States, except they have this annoying habit of assigned seating. When you buy your tickets, you buy the seat number as opposed to just going in and picking your own. It favors those who come early; buy their tickets and pick their seats; then come when the commercials have finished (and they have prime seating.) But still, it's a bit of a pain in the ass for those who show up ten minutes before show time.

Cinematics

I haven't seen tons of Polish movies, but I like to think I've seen the ones that count (and then some.) The classics like Pan Tadeusz, Ziemia Obiecana, Ogniem i Mieczem, and Katyn are must-sees to anyone wanting to learn more about Polish culture.

Pan Tadeusz is often called the national novel (or, more accurately, epic poem) of Poland (although, it takes place in Lithuania.) To be clear, I've never actually read the work or any translation of it, but what I have seen of it reminds me of Dante's masterpiece, The Divine Comedy (probably because of the rhyming.) Anyway, I downloaded and saw the 1999 film with several Poles, and afterwards remarked, "Hmmm, that really wasn't worth the time and effort to download, was it?" This made one of the Poles incredibly angry, blasting me for not caring about Polish history or suffering (this is how passionate Poles are about this poem and how much they resent the partitions of Poland.)

But, c'mon, this movie isn't really that great and the story actually kind of sucks. The production quality, especially the 'battle' scenes, is below that of Gettysburg (a movie I actually like very much) but that's really not the issue. The titular character, Pan Taduesz, is not even the main character and only demands about 25% of the plot line. He's also not really the most admirable or interesting character, and his most notable achievement is being able to nail some older noblewoman (who is actually kind of a conniving bitch) while trying to woo her niece. Pan Tadeusz is actually the most bland character in the whole production and the entire storyline would have suffered little if he was removed entirely (they could have stitched it together.) Mostly the film centers on the squabbling of two minor szlachta families, the Soplicas and the Horeszkos, over some ruin of a castle. What it does do is underline how the bickering of the szlachta allowed Poland to carved up and eventually erased from the map. The biggest kick in the balls is that the film abruptly ends when the movie starts getting interesting (when they start fighting the Russians instead of bitching at each other over family honor.) I've been told that the film doesn't do justice to the poem, and that it's really a great read (something I won't bring into dispute.)

The other films, like Ziemia Obiecana (The Promised Land), which portrays the hopes and ravages of the industrial revolution, are remarkably better. Katyn is the best of the lot, with Ogniem i Mieczem (With Fire and Sword) falling more towards Pan Tadeusz, but not really falling to that depth (it's a good watch.) Katyn is the heart-wrenching, and reminds me of the great, Schindler's List. Most of these films are downers and all the main characters end up "bummed out."

On the other side, I have actually seen Mala Wielka Milosc (Little Great Love.) A Polish-American RomCom, it proves that the Polish can make comedies almost as insipid as the Americans (they have a ways to go to reach the suckitude of Freddy Got Fingered and EuroTrip. For a good romantic comedy, watch High Fidelity.) A predictable storyline about an up-and-coming big shot lawyer who learns about responsibility, humility, and love from a down-to-earth Polish girl by knocking her up. He loses all his possessions, but in reality gains everything meaningful in life. He also has a fat, stupid sidekick bestfriend.

This summer, I hereby pledge to go on a Polish movie binge and see what I can so I can really put my ax to the grindstone. I can't wait to see the promising crapfest of To Nie Tak Jak Myslisz, Kotku (It's not what you think, Dear. (Kotku is actually the diminutive of kot (cat) but in this sense it can be translated as 'dear.')) Also, the even more terrible-looking Idealny Facet Dla Mojej Dziewczyny (The Ideal Guy for My Girl) is something I can't wait to sink my teeth into (some naked chick was on the posters; that pretty much says it all.)

The film, Wojna Polsko-Ruska (The Russo-Polish War), looks to be rather good. I've heard that the book is quite good and one of the best Polish books of the past decade. We shall see.