Kinder Surprise Found!

Well, when I listed Kinder Surprises as things that Poland has, which I can't find in the US, I didn't think I would find them so soon. But, here is a picture of Kinder Surprises in a Boston store. I was quite 'surprised' to see these; mostly because I haven't seen any other Kinder products. Also, a quick look to the Wikipedia page told me that Kinder Surprises are apparently illegal to be sold in the US. Isn't that interesting?

Now, I'll be on my way to find the other objects I listed.

Old Poland

As the Poles will bitterly tell you, Poland's historical borders are not its present ones. Almost half of historical Poland now belongs to Belarus and Ukraine. Lwów, an ancient Polish city, is now known as L'viv, and firmly in the hands of Ukraine. Wilno is now the capital of Lithuania. It's true that Poland gained a great deal of German land, like Gdansk (Danzig), Szczenin (Stettin) and Wroclaw (Breslau), but, to many, the historical land of the Poles now lies within foreign borders.

It's a shame, for me, really. Traveling to Belarus is kind of a pain in the ass. I do desire to go to these places (Wilno should be no problem though) but seem to be blocked by the need for visas.

I've asked a number of Poles whether or not they'll get back places like Lwow and Wilno, but almost all seem resigned that they'll no longer be in Polish hands. Mostly becuase they think that Germany would want back Stettin and Breslau, which I don't think Poland would be too keen to give up.

Frozen

The winter of 2006 was an intensely cold one for Europe. In Poland, it was a harsh, biting winter. There wasn't tons of snow on the ground, but the air must have been steady around 10º or so.

Part of the beach at Gdynia.

In Gdynia, something had happened that had not been seen for a very long time: the harbor froze over. It was rather unreal to see a vast stretch of ice and snow reaching out into the sea. At the edges, the waves undulated, covered not in foam, but in blocks of ice. The ocean water slowly turned into water with ice floes, until it too turned into the consistency of slush and then into solid ice. The beach, upon which I would lay in the summer, was a frozen block of sand with wisps of snow being blown about in sidewinding trails. We walked a little ways from the beach, out onto the ice. It wasn't smooth and glossy, the way pond ice is, but lumped up, mixed with snow that formed huge drifts, almost as if the waves had froze just as they had crested.

K's mother (who is a dear) said she had only seen the harbor frozen once before in her lifetime, and that was years back.

The frozen harbor.

It's an experience to walk out onto the sea. Well, it's always a life experience to see any some great body of water. My brother said that seeing the Dead Sea was just something that was a life experience. Seeing, let alone walking on, the Baltic was kind of like that for me (actually, I didn't walk on the Baltic, and didn't actually see the open Baltic Sea until the summer, last year, on my trip to Gdynia and Hel.)

The churning, frozen water.

The Importance of Learning Polish

When I first started learning Polish, it was on a whim.  I didn't really expect big things from it, but it has become the single most important thing that I've learned.  While in Germany, I was  able to get out a few mangled sentences to the Poles there and their hearts melted.

Now, years later, I still struggle with Polish but everyday I am more and more thankful that I picked it up.

Here is an article, which I found immensely entertaining, about some fellows in Ireland (the Police) who ought to have had a few Polish lessons themselves.

First Impressions

Well, before I started writing, I woke up today and sat down to my computer.  As I was typing I noticed that my computer, a Macbook Pro, was rather unstable on my desk.  At first I thought that there was something under it, like a pen or another random thing, so I lifted it up to see.  My fucking battery was warped all to shit!!!  No wonder the thing couldn't stay unplugged for five minutes—despite being fully charged— before shutting down.  A new one is going to run me $130 or so (and my computer is only about thirty months old!)

Anyway, this is a tale of my very first visit to Poland all those years ago.

Actually, it's a tale about the first three minutes of me getting off the bus (for the first time) in Warsaw.)

So, K had picked me up from the Airport (this was before T2 (heh, heh, great movie) opened up.)  We rode the bus on the extremely gray day to Srodmiescie and then took a tram to K's apartment block.  It's such a wondrous feeling arriving in a foreign land such as this for the first time.  I was carrying a huge frame backpack, per usual, and I exited the tram carrying it in my hands.  I started to struggle to get it onto my back when a fellow came up and started to help me.  Well, he helped me get it on and then refused to let me go, giving me great big hugs while chatting some words off in Polish (this was when I first started learning Polish; I didn't know what the hell he was saying.)  K told him I was an American and could not understand Polish.  That made him ever more jolly and drove him to hug me even more while welcoming me to Poland and wishing me a good trip.  I got the dubious pleasure of smelling his fermenting breath, which he was expending to K, talking to her about beer.  She handed him a five Zloty coin and he thanked her profusely then hugged me some more before wandering off.  K went on about how that's not really a usual thing to happen, which is a shame really.  I could have used a few more hugs.

Cell Phone Matters

Here's an odd story:

I rarely use my cell phone and am very discriminatory to whom I give it out.  One fine day, this passing Sunday, the day after Valentine's Day, I got two messages from a number I didn't recognize.  The first read:

Nie boje się (I am not afraid)

The second one read:

Jeszcze zobaczymy

kurwa

(We shall see, Whore (or fuck!))

Now, this is a little unsettling.  Not only have I never met this person (presumably) but why is s/he calling me a whore?  I wrote back, diplomatically:

What the fuck?!

Kto to jest?

(Who is this?)

Whoever it was disregarded my inquisitions and said (the following day):

Teraz nie moge pisać

(I can't write right now)

OK, so s/he can't write right now; I'll play the waiting game.  I was rewarded several hours later with:

Ewelina do mnie wczoraj pisałaś dlatego nie mogłem

(Ewelina, you wrote to me yesterday, that's why I couldn't)

This was getting really bizarre.  I found out he's a 'he' and lacks grammar so his message isn't exactly clear to comprehend.  Am I Ewelina?  I replied:

OK.

Ale, kto jestes?

Czy znam cie?

Jak sie nazywa?

(But, who are you?  Do I know you?  What is your name?)

Sane questions, right?  Well, they were disregarded and he sent:

Cześć síostra ty wczoraj do mnie pisałaś na telefon wieczorem dlatego nie pisałem

(Hi, sister.  You wrote to me yesterday on the telephone, in the evening, there for I didn't write.)

This is fucking weïrd.  I happened to run out of money on my phone, so I couldn't reply.  This guy kept on sending me messages:

Jesteś jeszcze na mnie zła kochanie

(You are still mad at me, Love)

And:

Kochanie odpisz

michał

(Love, write back.

Michal)

Well!!!  His name is Michal.  He hasn't sent me anymore messages, but I still think it's awfully strange.

Lessons in Humility

As a student of Polish and a teacher of English, I am faced very often with dealing with the issue of getting over one's own shyness while speaking a language.  At the beginning of every semester of classes, I give my opening spiel about how the students ought to get over any sense of shyness and just be comfortable speaking.

I usually say something akin to:

"Look, please don't hold back while speaking, just make an effort.  I swear I won't laugh at you or judge you; I'm just here to help you.  Don't worry about making mistakes.  Native speakers of English make mistakes all the time!  Shakespeare: the greatest English writer and the greatest writer of English, couldn't even spell his own name consistently.  So please, do your best and try your hardest."

It sounds noble but I rarely actually follow it myself.  I don't mean that I laugh at the students and call them morons—at least I don't do it to their faces. (JOKE!!!)  I mean that I am very shy about speaking Polish, especially with a Polish person.

It's been said that one learns a language best while drunk, because it takes away inhibitions and makes one not afraid to make mistakes.  I personally find this to be true, but I have trouble remembering what mistakes I made and what I actually said in general.

Now, here's a story:

When asking someone how to say something, I usually don't remember it very well.  So, if asking, "How do you say 'girl'?" and someone replied "dziewczyna", I would have trouble remembering "dziewczyna."

I was in Germany and had some tsuika (Romanian moonshine made from plums.)  I was getting 'festive' and asked a Pole next to me how one should say cheers.  She said, "na zdrowie."  To which I meant to reply, "I'll ask you again." (in Polish)  but instead said, "Zapamietam Cie zawsze."  She laughed and said, "Do you know what you just said?"  I looked sheepish and said, "What?"

"You just said 'I'll remember you forever!'"  We had a laugh and I quickly said, "Uh, I meant: Zapytam Cie znowu."

Again and again I am faced with a language barrier that seems to insurmountable for me.  I'm not one of those people who can conquer a language easily and confidently (I got straight Cs in Polish, and I did actually try.)  There are plenty of times I end up looking foolish when a person asks me a simple question and I do something totally unrelated to it.  (Once, a security guard asked me to write down my last name and I wrote, "Hey, it's me!  Come on down!"  He gave me the queerest look and repeated the question several times.)

I'm not exactly confident in my abilities (there are uncountable episodes, in which I have embarrassed myself trying to speak/understand Polish) and I'm not very comfortable carrying on a conversation.  Flaws I'd like to work on.

No matter how well you think you know a language (even your native one) someone or something is going to come along and show you something you'll never understand.  Why people enjoy James Joyce is that thing for me.

And so, even though I get paid to coax people along and to be comfortable with the Mother Tongue, I understand where they are coming from, and have been there too many friggan times myself.

Last Post: See Below

Boy, did I get some nasty responses about the following post: Myths about Poland or whatever (I forget the name of it now.)

Some people felt that I was slandering Poland, being overly arrogant American, being a "damn Yankee", and not actually being in touch with Poland.

Does anyone who reads this possess  ANY critical thinking at all?

I mean, come on!

Number 1)  This myth was directed to moronic people who had no contact with Poles, Polish culture, or any real knowledge about Poland.  Case in point:  When I returned from my first stay in Poland, my mother asked me what it was like.  Remember, she grew up with Eastern Europe being portrayed as the Iron Curtain and stuff.  She said, "I always thought of Poland as long lines of bent over old women carrying large bags with nothing in them."

I was trying to alleviate this sense that Poland is some depressing wasteland, of which Lenin would approve.

Number 2)  Many others have posted this myth and have agreed with me.  I'm not saying that Polish girls are ugly, or that they're cretins from some hideous morass.  I was saying that I think, in my opinion, that they aren't all drop-dead gorgeous girls.  In fact, many of them look like they could come from any other Caucasian ethnicity.  I did propagate the myth that Russians are beautiful, which was given to me by my Polish students and male friends.  I regret the error.  Polish girls rule!

Number 3)  I wrote this one because of several things.  Mostly it was because I saw another one of these lists, but it was titled "What to expect from a Polish girlfriend."  Number eight or something (I don't care which one it was) was "She's smarter than you."  It then went on about how this girl is somehow smarter than everyone else (by the education system, I guess.)  I just wanted to say, "No, she won't be smarter than you, and you won't be smarter than she."

 I cannot tell you how many times I meet Poles who have never been to America nor met an American and yet they think we're all fucking idiots (they say this to my face.  NO JOKE!!!)  Most of them point to movies and say that they get their perceptions about Americans being morons from these movies.  Does it matter that most of the best (by international rankings (as in, rankings don't by persons/groups outside of North America)) Universities are in the US?  (Harvard, Yale, Princeton, MIT, CalTec, UCLA, UC Berkeley, Carnegie-Mellon)  Here's a list made by a university in China.

I swear, I have had conversation after conversation with many different Poles from many different backgrounds, both professionals and students and factory workers, and all have commented about how they think that Americans in general are, in a word, stupid.

I was miffed by how many people adhere to the view that people from the US are dumber than those that aren't.  (Hey, the majority of Brits believe that Sherlock Holmes was a real person.  Most Polish people don't know the capital of Canada, the second-largest nation in the world.  (Hint: it's Ottawa, not Toronto.))

I wasn't saying that Poles are stupid.  I was (for the love of God and all that is Holy) just saying that they were as smart (or stupid, if you see the glass half-empty) as Americans, Brits, Swedes, Germans, Japanese, Ecuadorians, Nigerians (hey, they scam money from morons in the US, they've got to be smart!) and any other nationality.

Oh, and use your minds while reading for Fuck's sake!!!!!

Some Misconceptions

Now, there are innumerable blogs that create the "Top Ten Myths of Poland" lists.  This one is slightly different: it only has three.

1.  Poland is a Poor Country of Concrete Flats.

Only slightly true, but changing fast.  Poland has yet to be totally sucked down by the current economic fiasco, and they're throwing up skyscrapers and modern buildings at a breakneck pace.

2.  Polish Girls Are All Pretty.

There are plenty of butterfaces in Poland.  If you really want the hotties, look further east to Ukraine and Russia.  That's not to say that there aren't beautiful girls in Poland, there are, but there are plenty of not-so-pretty ones either.

3.  They're Smarter Than We.

They're not.  They just aren't smarter.  In fact, they're actually just as dumb as Americans.  

(This topic actually gets me going, but I'll rant and rave on a different post.)

That's not to say that Polish people are retarded, which they aren't, I'm just saying that they (I should actually refer to Poles here, I'm more of referring to Europeans in general) are just as smart/stupid as anyone else in the world.

Movies

Poland is somewhat behind the curve in terms of box office releases. They're catching up now, with major blockbusters being released on the same date in Poland as they are in the US, but for many films they still lag behind. One such effect is that on the flight over to Poland, I can watch a film before it is even shown in theaters in Poland. Happy-Go-Lucky was one such film, and I got the pleasure of seeing all the posters up around Warsaw advertising its release.

It used to be really bad a few years ago. I remember visiting the theater and seeing posters for movies that were "coming soon", yet had already been released on DVD in the States months before. These days, most films are released simultaneously around the globe (Poland included.)